The wording of "abstract concepts" is vague. Try to focus it on a specific concept that Camus is trying to convey, such as how Marie's clothing represents beauty and pleasure to Meursault. In Meursault's case, these two concepts are often intertwined, such as in the case of Marie. I also have some other suggestions, but I think I will leave those for other students to comment on. Through the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus conveys how beauty is often the embodyment of pleasure.
"Abstract concepts" is extremely vague. Even if including that HOW does it stem from physical experiences? What kind of "physical experiences"? Is Marie's clothing always white? I seem to recall she wears bright colors, or contrasting white and black.
Rewritten: Through the motif of the coloring of Marie's clothing, Camus reveals how thoughts/ideas come through interaction with the physical world.
I agree. "Abstract concepts" is a vague term. I think that although white in this case wouldn't symbolize purity, it could possibly represent Marie's honesty and openness. Does Marie wear white throughout the whole book?
Through the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus shows how physical experiences shape personal beliefs.
Marie does wear a red and white striped dress, and a white linen dress. I am fairly certain that these are the only clothes of hers that Meursault describes. The white clothing has more to do with the idea of love and marriage rather than physical experiences. White usually stands for purity, but this isn't the case here. I think that this is what was intended by Camus, and that the juxtaposition of purity and love versus physical affection is important.
I agree that "abstract concepts" is confusing and needs to be more specific. I also think that the color white represents Meursault's physical desires. You cannot go deeper than white, you can't pull out any other colors. Meursault is not capable of going deeper than physical desires with Marie.
Through the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus demonstrates that physical desires are produced through interaction with physical matter.
What does the dress have to do with an abstract concept? It seems physical to me.
With the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus conveys the idea that there is sometimes more to life than physical experiences. (Does Marie represent something beyond the physical because she is dedicated to Meursault?)
This thesis is vague to the max. and it doesnt even make sense in its present state.
Clarify how her white clothing has anything to do with abstract ideas. And if this was the intention of the sentence, then physical appearances and maries white clothing need to be connected as well.
"Through the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus explores the idea of abstract concepts stem from physical experiences."
I was in the group. We had an idea, but we didn't develop it all the way through and rushed through the writing process. We wanted to focus on the conflict between what Marie represented to other people.
She wears white and talks about marriage with Meursault, showing a sort of purity. However, Meursault only likes her for her body and the prosecutor calls her "[Meursault's] mistress."
So Edit: "Through the conflicting connotations of Marie, Camus shows how emotions stem from physical experiences."
Marie's white clothing may also symbolize the innocents of Marie because she acts like a little kid throughout the entire novel. Maybe the white clothing has something to do with that. I would get rid of the abstract concepts from the thesis. Camus explores if one's emotions are repressed their emotions stem from physical experiences through the connotations of Marie's innocents.
Through the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus explores the idea of abstract concepts stem from physical experiences.
"Abstract concepts" is too vague, there is not impact to the theme nor an explanation of how concepts stem from physical experiences, and "the idea" is both unnecessary and makes the sentence grammatically incorrect. Not entirely sure what is trying to be said here.
Rewrite: Camus uses the motif of white clothing to focus the abstract perception of her character into a physical portrayal.
Is "abstract concepts" supposed to be taken as philosophical beliefs? If so I think this thesis may have a good start and could connect very well into Meresault's materialistic and existential ideals, but this needs to be clarified and expanded upon.
Camus uses the motif of Marie's white clothing to express the idea that all philosophical beliefs have an immediate basis in the material world.
This entire thesis confuses me...What are the abstract concepts? how does Marie's white clothing demonstrate this? Where is the "so what"? I think the idea there is promising, but the wording needs to be redone...
Camus uses the motif of Marie's clothes to express that inner feelings can be expressed through physical items.
The idea sounds interesting and is definitely not obvious. The ideas of what Marie represents to different people could be clarified. This is how I would rewrite it:
Through the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus contrasts Marie's actions with her wishes to show that society interprets Marie in different ways.
This thesis screams ambiguity in your face while slapping you with a sign that says "Ambiguous Thesis." There is the "what." There is kind of a "how" (but not specific which is what a thesis should be). There is definitely no "why." And what are "abstract concepts?" My rewording won't be very good since I haven't a clue what the writer is trying to accomplish with this thesis.
Through the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus explores Marie's emotions and actions can be interpreted in different ways because she is not confined to one stereotype.
Again, why does Camus do this? What is he trying to say about the human experience? It's hard to clarify thesis statements that dont have a "why" part to it.
Through the motif of Marie's white clothing,Camus explores the idea that one's desires stem from physical experiences.
This seems extremely vague, and perhaps obvious, that thoughts originate from physical occurrences. rewrite: Camus uses the motif of Marie's white clothing as a way to show that our thoughts and beliefs originate from physical occurrences, and are thus dictated by our experiences.
I understand the idea but this thesis is lacking specifics. "abstract concepts" os an extremely vague term and I do not understand how it relates to Marie's clothing. Marie's clothing is a physical concept. Also i don't think there is alot of evidence supporting this because Mersault only decribes when she is wearing white. I would rewrite this thesis as: Through the description of Marie's white clothing Camus desribes Mersault's desires towards a physical experience.
The wording of "abstract concepts" is vague. Try to focus it on a specific concept that Camus is trying to convey, such as how Marie's clothing represents beauty and pleasure to Meursault. In Meursault's case, these two concepts are often intertwined, such as in the case of Marie. I also have some other suggestions, but I think I will leave those for other students to comment on.
ReplyDeleteThrough the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus conveys how beauty is often the embodyment of pleasure.
"Abstract concepts" is extremely vague. Even if including that HOW does it stem from physical experiences? What kind of "physical experiences"? Is Marie's clothing always white? I seem to recall she wears bright colors, or contrasting white and black.
ReplyDeleteRewritten: Through the motif of the coloring of Marie's clothing, Camus reveals how thoughts/ideas come through interaction with the physical world.
I agree. "Abstract concepts" is a vague term. I think that although white in this case wouldn't symbolize purity, it could possibly represent Marie's honesty and openness. Does Marie wear white throughout the whole book?
ReplyDeleteThrough the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus shows how physical experiences shape personal beliefs.
Marie does wear a red and white striped dress, and a white linen dress. I am fairly certain that these are the only clothes of hers that Meursault describes. The white clothing has more to do with the idea of love and marriage rather than physical experiences. White usually stands for purity, but this isn't the case here. I think that this is what was intended by Camus, and that the juxtaposition of purity and love versus physical affection is important.
ReplyDeleteI agree that "abstract concepts" is confusing and needs to be more specific. I also think that the color white represents Meursault's physical desires. You cannot go deeper than white, you can't pull out any other colors. Meursault is not capable of going deeper than physical desires with Marie.
ReplyDeleteThrough the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus demonstrates that physical desires are produced through interaction with physical matter.
What does the dress have to do with an abstract concept? It seems physical to me.
ReplyDeleteWith the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus conveys the idea that there is sometimes more to life than physical experiences. (Does Marie represent something beyond the physical because she is dedicated to Meursault?)
This thesis is vague to the max. and it doesnt even make sense in its present state.
ReplyDeleteClarify how her white clothing has anything to do with abstract ideas.
And if this was the intention of the sentence, then physical appearances and maries white clothing need to be connected as well.
Abstract ideas is vague. Also, what physical experiences? It needs to be more specific. Also, I don't think Marie always wears white.
ReplyDeleteI'm not quite good with motifs, but here's a shot.
Camus uses motif of Marie's clothing to represent physical experiences [and to reveal what Meursault truly thinks about Marie?]
I don't even know what this thesis is saying. I know Marie is described as wearing white a few times, but is this consistant throughout the book?
ReplyDeleteCamus depicts Marie in white clothing throughout his novel to convey the idea that physical pleasure does not always bring about emotional happiness.
"Through the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus explores the idea of abstract concepts stem from physical experiences."
ReplyDeleteI was in the group. We had an idea, but we didn't develop it all the way through and rushed through the writing process. We wanted to focus on the conflict between what Marie represented to other people.
She wears white and talks about marriage with Meursault, showing a sort of purity. However, Meursault only likes her for her body and the prosecutor calls her "[Meursault's] mistress."
So Edit:
"Through the conflicting connotations of Marie, Camus shows how emotions stem from physical experiences."
Marie's white clothing may also symbolize the innocents of Marie because she acts like a little kid throughout the entire novel. Maybe the white clothing has something to do with that.
ReplyDeleteI would get rid of the abstract concepts from the thesis.
Camus explores if one's emotions are repressed their emotions stem from physical experiences through the connotations of Marie's innocents.
I think in my edit innocents may be too vague.
Through the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus explores the idea of abstract concepts stem from physical experiences.
ReplyDelete"Abstract concepts" is too vague, there is not impact to the theme nor an explanation of how concepts stem from physical experiences, and "the idea" is both unnecessary and makes the sentence grammatically incorrect. Not entirely sure what is trying to be said here.
Rewrite: Camus uses the motif of white clothing to focus the abstract perception of her character into a physical portrayal.
This whole thesis is shrouded in ambiguity. I'm not sure what is meant by "abstract concepts", specification of this would be good.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what physical experiences would this be referencing? Try to be more specific on this as well.
Is "abstract concepts" supposed to be taken as philosophical beliefs? If so I think this thesis may have a good start and could connect very well into Meresault's materialistic and existential ideals, but this needs to be clarified and expanded upon.
ReplyDeleteCamus uses the motif of Marie's white clothing to express the idea that all philosophical beliefs have an immediate basis in the material world.
Wording needs to be changed. "abstract concepts" is confusing for me.
ReplyDeleteCamus uses the motif of Marie's white clothing in order to show that inner thoughts and beliefs are formed from experiences with the physical world.
This entire thesis confuses me...What are the abstract concepts? how does Marie's white clothing demonstrate this? Where is the "so what"? I think the idea there is promising, but the wording needs to be redone...
ReplyDeleteCamus uses the motif of Marie's clothes to express that inner feelings can be expressed through physical items.
Well first of all, that is not correct grammar. I think it should be stemming. But beyond that, this is super vague.
ReplyDeleteThrough Meursault's relationships and thoughts, Camus illustrates that emotions stem from physical feelings or events.
The idea sounds interesting and is definitely not obvious. The ideas of what Marie represents to different people could be clarified. This is how I would rewrite it:
ReplyDeleteThrough the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus contrasts Marie's actions with her wishes to show that society interprets Marie in different ways.
This thesis screams ambiguity in your face while slapping you with a sign that says "Ambiguous Thesis." There is the "what." There is kind of a "how" (but not specific which is what a thesis should be). There is definitely no "why." And what are "abstract concepts?" My rewording won't be very good since I haven't a clue what the writer is trying to accomplish with this thesis.
ReplyDeleteThrough the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus explores Marie's emotions and actions can be interpreted in different ways because she is not confined to one stereotype.
I like the idea, and it's not something I noticed so an interesting hook could definently get me into the paper when used in combination.
ReplyDeleteI don't like "explores the idea". Atleast not here....clarify abstract concepts!
"Through the motif of Marie's white clothing, Camus shows that uncommon personal ideas stem from physical experiences."
Again, why does Camus do this?
ReplyDeleteWhat is he trying to say about the human experience?
It's hard to clarify thesis statements that dont have a "why" part to it.
Through the motif of Marie's white clothing,Camus explores the idea that one's desires stem from physical experiences.
The way it is worded is confusing toward the end. 'abstract concepts' should be clearified.
ReplyDeleteCamus uses Marie's white clothing as a motif that explores the idea that abstract philosophies originate from physical experiences.
This seems extremely vague, and perhaps obvious, that thoughts originate from physical occurrences.
ReplyDeleterewrite: Camus uses the motif of Marie's white clothing as a way to show that our thoughts and beliefs originate from physical occurrences, and are thus dictated by our experiences.
I understand the idea but this thesis is lacking specifics. "abstract concepts" os an extremely vague term and I do not understand how it relates to Marie's clothing. Marie's clothing is a physical concept. Also i don't think there is alot of evidence supporting this because Mersault only decribes when she is wearing white.
ReplyDeleteI would rewrite this thesis as:
Through the description of Marie's white clothing Camus desribes Mersault's desires towards a physical experience.
"Abstract concepts" is too vague to add any specificity to this thesis.
ReplyDeleteThrough Marie's white clothing, Camus represents the role played by beauty in physical experiences.